On my mind

I've had so much on my mind lately, yet haven't been able to get it all down to share with y'all. I guess I'll just try to summarize a little to get it out there...

* Insomnia -this is one of the most prevalent things on my mind right now. For the past I don't even remember how long, I've been really struggling with sleep. I have a hard time falling asleep; once my head hits the pillow my mind goes into overdrive thinking about anything and everything. Things I want to do, things I need to do, completely random stuff that means nothing; it takes about an hour to fall asleep almost every night. Not good. Then, while I am sleeping it still feels like my mind is going so I'm not really resting. If I have wake up in the night for whatever reason, (Jonathan, restroom, etc.) it takes forever to fall back to sleep. It's really starting to affect my mental welfare I think. I can't seem to get motivated to the things I need to get done. I'm a little uneasy about taking something to help me sleep, as I'm afraid I won't wake up to hear Jonathan if he needs me. Rebecca mentioned that I could try a Melatonin supplement. I went yesterday & bought some, but apparently I bought a really low dose, 300 mcg which only equals .3 mg, and it didn't do anything for me last night. I'm going to give the doctor a call & see if it's okay to take more than one at a time. Do you have any other suggestions?

* Weight Loss - Another thing I've really been struggling with is my weight. I know what I need to do to take care of it, but I just can't seem to find the motivation to do it. There are so many reasons I want to lose the weight. As of right now I'm right at 100 pounds overweight. Gosh, that's a horrible thing to put out there. The main reason is that I want to be healthy; I want to be around to watch Jonathan (and any future children) grow up. I want to be able to play with them & not feel winded after only moments. I also want to grow old with Chris; I want to enjoy our children's lives together & experience grandchilren together. When our children grow up and move out of the house I want to be around to enjoy that time alone together. Of course, another reason is the way I look. Some days I don't mind the weight so much, but those days are far outweighed by the ones that I do. I want to look good for Chris, he deserves a wife that he can be proud to be seen with. Also, when Jonathan is older & in school, I don't want him to be embarrassed by his "fat mommy". I don't want other kids to make fun of him, and I don't want other parents looking at him and thinking, "poor kid, look at his Mom." So, I'm going to work on making one small change at a time. I think my first step will be to cut out soda, I know that will make a huge difference, and drinking water is one of the best things you can do. Another thing I really want to do when the weather gets cooler (which will hopefully be soon) is start walking in the neighborhood. We have a great neighborhood for it, and I might actually get to meet some of the neighbors. Bonus!

* Jonathan's 1st Birthday party - as much as I'd like to be in denial about it, Jonathan is growing up. ;o) I can't believe this year has gone by so quickly, it's been the most amazing year of my life. I've done a little planning so far for his party, mostly just the basics. I still have to mail the invites (next week) and make arrangements for food, etc. I think we're going to have a pizza party. There's a great place nearby that sells large pepperoni and cheese pizzas for $5 a piece! You can't beat that. And they taste great too! I've already bought some of the supplies. I happened to go into Party City and found this great set of stuff for next to nothing. It was in the clearance section for $.25 each! Can you believe that? I got the invitations, plates, goodie bags, blowers, thank you notes, a banner, a candle and a few other things for $7.50!!! The deal of the century. I still have to order the cake, get sodas, cups, silverware, etc., but after having saved all that money it doesn't feel like too big of a deal. Now, about the presents.... Anyone have any good suggestions for birthday gifts for a one year old boy? I'm at a loss.

* Halloween - I've been trying to figure out what Jonathan is going to be for Halloween this year. It will be his first year trick-or-treating so I want it to be something cute. After some browsing I found this adorable "golfer" costume, but I just can't justify the $35 for one night. So, I'm still on the lookout. I may keep any eye on Ebay & see what I can find there.

Wow, that turned out to be a novel. But it felt good to get it all out there; sometimes seeing it in writing helps me think things out a little better. I'd love any thoughts or suggestions you have about any of these things. (In other words... leave me a comment!!!)