How many times have I written about the struggle with my weight? I for one am tired of thinking about it, and I’m quite sure you’re tired of reading about it.
I don’t know if I mentioned that I finally cancelled my membership to Weight Watchers last month. It just didn’t make sense to pay the $40/month if I wasn’t going to follow the program or attend meetings. I hated the fact that I couldn’t find the motivation or focus to do what I need to do to lose the weight.
As usual, I’m quite frustrated with myself. I’ve gained back probably 20 pounds of the 50 that I had lost. It sickens me to no end and I CANNOT let myself get back up to where I started. I refuse to buy clothes in the size that I was. It makes absolutely no sense!
A couple of months ago I realized that one of the problems that I was having with the process is that I was following the Weight Watchers plan and using it like a DIET. Not trying to make a lifestyle change. I was only measuring my food & paying attention to my portion sizes to lose weight, not to learn to make better choices. The question at the time was: Am I willing to make the changes in my lifestyle that are necessary to live a healthier life, or do I just need to learn to be content where I am?
I’ve been thinking a lot about that over the last few days, and I think I’ve finally made a decision.
YES. I’m willing to make the changes necessary.
Is it going to be easy? Of course not. Will I struggle? Absolutely. Am I going to suck it up and do it anyway… YES!
So, I’m going to rejoin Weight Watchers. I really need and enjoy the accountability of weighing in and going to the meetings. I like the “structured freedom” that their plan offers. But this time, I’m going into it with a new perspective. I’m going to pretend like I’ve never set foot in the door & have never followed the plan before. I’m going to learn how to make better choices, not because they’ll help me to lose weight, but because it will be better for me.
I CAN do this! I WILL do this!
Next on the agenda is the exercise thing, but for right now I’m just taking one baby step at a time.